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Day 31 - The End Of The Project - Ending Baby-loss Awareness Month with a sunset.
Unfortunately there isn't always a sunset guaranteed here on the East Coast of Scotland. But Oscar, Duncan and I braved the wind and the rain and ventured out onto the pier at the time sunset should have occurred.
Thank you so much everyone, for your kind words and comments and for sticking with me through 31 Days of baby-loss awareness.
Valerie
xxx
Capturing Your Grief - Project Heal - Link
Day 30. Your Grief – Tell The World What do you want the world to know about this road you are travelling? Do you just want your baby’s name to be spoken? Do you want others to know they are not alone? Whatever it is, write it down on a piece of paper and hold it up for the world to see!
Valerie
xxx
Capturing Your Grief - Project Heal - Link
Day 29 - Share a piece of music which reminds you of your baby
I first heard this version when I was pregnant with my older son. I think it is the song that reminds me of the dreamy time of pregnancy when you daydream about the future. I heard it again shortly after we lost Ellie Rose and it made me happy and sad at the same time.
Valerie
xxx
Capturing Your Grief - Project Heal - Link
Capture Your Grief this October 2012 for Pregnancy & Infant Loss Awareness Month
Day 28. Memory Share one of your most significant memories on this journey of grief, it can be a positive or negative memory.
This is a blog post I wrote back in May this year, right after Ellie Rose was gone. In amongst some truly awful memories, this one also stands out.
"
Before Ellie Rose died, and I know that for sure because we had an ultrasound after, I had a dream. In the dream Duncan and I were walking through our town centre. The town centre has been hugely modernised lately, but in the dream it was the town centre of my childhood. It looked exactly as it did in the 1970s. I was carrying our baby in my arms in the dream, I don't know if she was dead or alive, but she was wrapped in a hospital towel instead of a blanket. Duncan was walking ahead and making me hurry because he was late for work and stressing about it. I kept saying we had to find a shop to buy the baby a blanket because she was born too soon and we didn't even have a blanket to wrap her in. (yes the baby was a 'she' in the dream).
For the rest of my life I will never know if my body had sent my mind a signal of what was unfolding, or if this was a natural pregnancy anxiety dream. Some days I wonder if I will find out the answer after my life.
I cast on a pure wool blanket a few days later and kept it safely for the baby. I figured that since she was ok (heart beating at the ultrasound following the dream), I was being silly making it so early.
When we brought Ellie home she was in a little white box. When we went to bed on the first night Duncan wrapped the box in the blanket and brought her to our bedroom.
That's all I have to say about it really."
Valerie
xxx
Capturing Your Grief - Project Heal - Link
Day 27. Artwork Share some artwork that reminds you of your baby/ies/child/ren or something that was created for them by you or someone else.
I have recently hung a canvas print from Gustav Klimt, Mother and Child detail, from The Three Ages Of Woman. Having lost 4 babies over the last 2 years I have felt very disconnected and afraid of my fertility. I am 42 now and the fear that the choice to end my procreative period of life isn't my own conscious one is quite terrifying.
The full painting (not as popular as the detail) can be seen HERE and shows the young female child being held by the mother with the crone standing beside them, hovering I speculate?
I guess its quite symbolic of my current mood, although I have always liked the detail, since I looked at Klimt's work when I was at art school (many many moons ago).
Capturing Your Grief - Project Heal - Link
Day 24. Siblings This could be done two ways – your could photograph your own siblings and post about how grief has affect them or you can post about your other living children. I know that not everyone has living children but I felt it was important to include the children who are left here to grieve their brothers and sisters. Capture a sibling, niece or nephew’s grief. Maybe you could share a drawing they have done or even just a photo of them holding something that represents their brother or sister that they are missing. Give them a voice here.
Because no matter how old they are, they will always be my babies.
Valerie
xxx
