What Next?

 

I am still feeling a bit out of sorts just now. I have been talking about boredom and what to do with my/our days and I still haven't come to any conclusions. This week, we went to the park on Monday, the beach on Tuesday, my Mum visited on Wednesday and a lovely friend and her little ones visited yesterday.  Not a bad week really, but I still feel it was fairly empty, possibly because there was a lot of space around these activities. I cooked, cleaned, played with Lego and play dough for the 3 thousandth time, did some knitting or did nothing at all.  The problem is, none of it was very engaging and the boredom is killing me.

 

 

I guess it gets me knocked off the 'earth mother' list for not being fully engaged in my child's activities.  I am not losing sleep over it though, because I think more mothers feel like me than not (some of the time).  I keep asking myself what I would be doing with my time if Oscar wasn't here all day, but I haven't come up with anything. I think if I figure that out I can then try and integrate it into my day with Oscar, making us both a bit more independent (happier?).

 

 

Its a difficult thing to talk about, because I realise how lucky I am to have the luxury of staying home every day, and I know there are a lot of parents who would read this grumbling and snort down their nose.  But it is what it is, and this is what happened with my older 2 children too. When my eldest child was 13 months I became pregnant again (before I had the time or the energy to get bored), but by the time they were aged 2 and 4 years, I enrolled in a full time college course (fine art- portfolio preparation), which led to 4 years of studying art and design at art school. Its worth mentioning that I was only 24 at that time. 

 

 

I think that Oscar not having a nursery spot yet has some bearing on my unrest, and most stay at home parents will agree that its very difficult to immerse yourself in anything of your own with a toddler beside you, no matter how busy they are. We are looking at a private nursery on Monday, because the school nursery cant promise a place at all. I am not 100% sure about it (or paying £14.50 per morning, when I don't have a job to supplement it).  I feel it's worth a visit though, before I dismiss it completely.

 

 

We don't really have any plans for the next few days, except maybe trawling the 7 charity shops which are 5 minutes away and hopefully putting a bit of my own stamp on the lounge by painting one wall with THIS.

Have a lovely weekend.

Valerie

xxx

p.s. there was a spider on the wall in the last photo.