Friday, 19 August 2011

When A Woman Makes Up Her Mind

In the grand scheme of things, our time here will possibly be remembered as a blink. As in, blink and you missed it. I am ultimately relieved that we are moving back to the city, but that doesn't mean I am plowing on ahead with no regards to anyone else. Aimee I am not too worried about, in fact due to Aimee having learning disabilities she tends to be reclusive and this quiet place possibly accommodates that too well.

My husband though has to endure the stress of moving again (financially, emotionally and physically), at a time when his work commitments are pressing down on him. So much so, his boss has told him he is pleased we are moving back, so he can start early and work late, (I am wearing a scowl at this comment).

Oscar of course I worry about, maybe the most. If you have been reading my blog since the beginning you may realise that Oscar is my whole world, and his well-being is a very high (but not exclusive) priority.  Oscar not having a suitable nursery and not being able to travel without being sick are 2 of the main reasons for moving. I have been criticised for this, I know certain people close to me think Oscar is spoilt. They think I am giving him too much control over our lives. What can I say? I am parenting the best I can. This is what feels right to my husband and I. Oscar is disciplined, as much as we feel is appropriate for a 2 year old.

I  worry about my fluctuating moods lately and the effect they have had on him. It doesn't make me soft on him, it makes me anxious. Oscar has developed a blinking/eye squinting habit, and although common sense is telling me its a habit he picked up when he was extra tired (we have 99% eliminated his afternoon nap), I cant help but worry its a nervous reaction to my moods and the past changes and threats of changes to come.

What I dont need right now is to feel critised and to know that people are saying I havent given it a chance, I should stay longer, I am pandering to a 2 year old, I am wasting money, I am thinking of myself and not Duncan.

The lease is signed, the money has been transferred, I have began packing. We ARE moving.

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