Tomorrow is my 42nd birthday. 42, how did that happen. Some days I feel double that age, when my back is hurting or if I haven't had enough sleep. Some days I look 102, but that's a whole other topic. In my mind, mostly, I still feel like a girl. I still feel funny describing myself as a grown woman, let alone an older woman (as opposed to a young woman in her 20's). I am not talking about maturity either because that does not often tally with the passing of the years. I had afternoon tea with an old and seldom seen friend the other week (she lives in Gibraltar), and we were talking about when we first met. We met at a fortune teller in 1989, and I was 19 and 4 months pregnant and my friend was 18 and had a 6 month old baby, we were both married to men who coincidently worked in the same place. My friend laughed about it and said oh yes, what were we like 'playing at keeping house'. I suspect there is an element of truth in that, but some days I wonder where that confident self assured girl went. I dont remember having so many fears and worries when I was a girl. I always though confidence grew with the passing of time, now I am not so sure. Maybe its a case of ignorance was bliss? Maybe I need to make a new birthday year resolution, to relax a little more, worry a little less. It sounds like a good idea.