Mama Was Born In The 60s

 

I can tell that most people don't really know what to say to me right now. I understand it really. Duncan and I have sat looking at each other and been at a loss for words some times.

A few weeks ago, someone told me a story about their friend who's baby had died in pregnancy. The mother was 'horrified she had been going around with a dead baby inside her for weeks'. I can only assume that the person telling me this story thought at the time our baby was going to be ok. The point is though, its not quite like that (for me).

I bleed 6 to 8 hours in a 24 hour period (usually between 3pm and 11pm, I don't know why). The rest of the time I have normal pregnancy symptoms, morning sickness, tender breasts, sensitive to smells etc. I have a round pregnant looking tummy. The midwife told me on Thursday that the sac the baby is in is still growing (at normal size), and my hormones are still increasing, so in effect my body doesn't know yet that the baby has died.

On the one hand, its difficult to believe the baby has gone because I feel exactly the same. On the other hand, its giving me time to get used to the idea that the baby has gone even though the pregnancy isn't over.

I have scoured the internet for help and advice, particularly on what is to come, and what our options are for the baby after he/she has been born. The advise is out there, but its hard to find, and that is why I have decided to blog about this. Someone in my situation may find this blog and find it helpful.

I was able to email a lovely lady who has been through a similar situation and she has very kindly answered some of my questions. It has been a help, because unless you have been in this situation it is difficult to know what is ok or not ok to say about it.

I will put the word (loss) in my post titles relating to this subject, to give people the option to skip it completely.

Meanwhile, life around me goes on as normal. The laundry needs done, I have my lavender and chocolate to bake a cake, Oscar is up to mischief, and Duncan and I hold each other tenderly.

 

Thank you ALL for the kind comments and emails, it means so much to me to know other people are caring and thinking of us.

Valerie

xxx